I am asking my bloggers friends for help with a delicate issue I need to handle. Sometimes, I have a hard time not being a steam roller when it comes to my ds.
My ds just started preschool last week. We love the school and the teachers. And most importantly ds loves it there!
Here is the background to my problem. We are not a religous family. We believe there is a God or higher power. But, we do not belong to a church or identify with any religion, Christian, Jewish, Islam or otherwise. I believe that there are many wonderful religions but have not found one that fits me. I believe that everyone has a right to chose their own faith, church, or chose none or be an atheist. I have Christain, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, and Atheist friends. We have not talked with Robbie about God, as he is little and our beliefs are complex. I plan to let him explore what ever religion or religions he chooses as he grows, and I support him 100%!
The preschool is in a church hall, but it is not a church preschool. It says nothing in the material we have been given about being a faith based program. The first time we went they did a basic prayer before snack. We thought about it and said no problem. We will have a basic God talk, so he knows what is going on.
Here is the issue finally: We showed up early today. And they were telling him he couldn't have snack until he prayed. I felt upset. I mean this is not Sunday School. I don't mind the prayer, but he should not be forced to do this to eat. I talked with him after. And told him what God was on a basic level. And I asked him if he wanted to pray with the class. He said Yes. I told him if he doesn't, tell me and I will make sure he doesn't have too.
I am still bothered and wanted to talk to the teacher. And tell her we don't pray at home. And say, I would like Robbie to have the choice about whether he prays or not. Snack should not be dependent on it. I had to sign forms to agree to lots of things, field trips, medical, time-outs. This was never messaged.
How can I handle this delicately? I don't want to offend the teacher and her belifs. And I don't want to be the problem Lesbian Mom, of the new kid. Because you know that is what they will think. But, I do not want my son forced in to something, that has not been discussed with me and I am not comfortable with. Thanks if you actually took the time to read this.
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3 comments:
Here's the thing with preschools held in churches here....they are *always* religion-based. Some are more heavy handed, some are more subtle but there is always, always, always the faith componant there.
If you do not want Robbie exposed to their way of doing things (prayers before snacks, etc) then maybe it's a good time to check out other preschools (not held in churches) because I seriously doubt they will be ok with Robbie not taking part in the religion-based parts of their cirriculum.
On outline of the cirriculum should have been in the material they gave non-congregation based people but I'm guessing they figured people would know that religion would be part of it when the signed up for preschool located in a church.
It's a hard one but since the church isn't going to change, if it really bothers you, it's time to look elsewhere. There are usually good preschool programs offered through school districts, community centers as well as other venues.
I hope you find a good fit for you and for Robbie.
Cathy- I agree with prior poster. Although it wasn't clearly detailed when signing up, if I took my child to a preschool or anything held in a church, I would assume it had some faith component to it. So it's a matter of deciding whether or not you want to incorporate that into your lives or go elsewhere. I would maybe explore with the teachers or other parents as to what other little "suprises" you may face, especially with Christmas coming. You may have some jesus in a manger, the true reason for christmas stories, etc coming your way. It will help you make a clearer decision.
I would be out of there I think. We don't do religion here either, and I hate that they are witholding his snack until he prays. It's not like they are asking him to wash his hands or something, you know?
Sounds like you are now feeling uncomfortable with the preschool.
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